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Oh, God...I loved him.But I loved him too much to have him just because ... I don't know, because he pitied me? Because he felt he owed me something? I wanted to be sure he loved me.When Su died, I mourned my friend. But it was much worse watching Jim come apart. I watched him functioning like an automaton, going through the motions of living. I sat with him, walked with him and tried to talk to him, but I couldn't get through to him.When Mrs. Price rang to say Jim was in a terrible state, I was there as quickly as I could possibly be. I was pretty sure what had precipitated his state, but that didn't really give me an answer. That came through an incidental comment by someone who'd rung about my entry for the next year's Renishaw classic car and bike show. I knew Charles Newton and Natalie from meeting them at several rallies. I wondered if (thinking of some off-hand comments I'd heard) either of them might have had some ideas about Jim. I had a long chat with Natalie and a rather. " Randi looked down. She clearly didn't want to say any more about it."I guess maybe I could make it," Laura said."Good, I'll get you the directions."As agreed, Laura drove down to Los Altos late Saturday morning. The worst part was having to lie to Deshona, which made her feel rotten. She claimed a sudden business trip, which Deshona would understand. But Laura cringed as she drove past Burlingame on her way to Los Altos, irrationally fearing that Deshona would be driving by and glimpse her betrayal.Oh god, I'm so awful! Laura thought. That lovely, delicious woman loves me. If she only knew! God, I hope she never finds out. And here I make fun of Rhonda in the back of my mind for the way Stephanie treated her. I'm no better.By the time she reached the house where Randi was staying, she was in a thoroughly bad mood, dour and filled with guilt and shame. But Randi met her at the door wearing a bikini. It was red, of course, and very stylish, wispy, almost non-existent, in fact,.
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